The_Jah's Xanga

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 06:31:26 GMT

So I was talking to John (Lennon) the other day and he still doesnt believe in me. Weird huh? And your probably thinking, "How come he is Heaven?". Well my creation, Im a huge Beatles fan. I knew they were gonna rock back when my Son was flipping tables & cracking whips! So I let John & George chill with me up here... but under strict supervision. They have to play me The White Album every other week. And since I know no time... thats every day. Can't wait til Paul is up here. Not sure if Ringo will make it... he hasnt done anything cool in awhile. We'll see. So lets see... what else is new. Jojo has been tempting me again. He thinks I wont strike him down... just wait and see, Jonathan Nancy Robles... just you wait.

Noah and Stephen have a bet goin on. Big N thinks that Mick Jagger is a has been, that he is done with. And Stephen, a giant Stones fan, thinks that the boys will be around even after The Great White Thrown Judgement. I already know, but its fun to watch them argue...

Lets just say that if a nuclear blast goes off, only cockroaches & Keith Richards will still be alive....

Well, I better fly. Marvin Gaye is trying to sing "Sexual Healing" in my chapel again...

Not causing hurricanes,

God

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 04:50:26 GMT

Evening my babies, yes... you too Darrell. Someone has been peeing in my clouds lately, not sure who to blame. Yes, I am God... but Im busy. Anywho, better run... I mean, fly!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 05:16:54 GMT

This update goes out to none other than My Creation Number 585,394,500,543,128,998,498,398,323,092,839... or Chris Johnson

He has been a wonderous young man. So wonderous in fact, that I gave him the title "Wizard Johnson". He is indeed a great midget. I have a mansion up here in Heaven, with Tupac living on the right... and Biggie living on the left. Good luck there... well, I am out. Noah and Moses painted my golden sheep purple again... goofballs.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 19:43:35 GMT

Oh Lord... I mean, oh me... quite a tiresome day. Played poker last night with the gang and I am just worn out! Noah thinks he is sooo smart!!!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 00:26:21 GMT

Ahhh.... how are all my children doing? Wait, I already know the answer to that... I am God. So me and Noah were playing checkers today and he told me a really great joke. Here it goes:

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out, "Having children is an Act of God!" An older man in the back stood and shouted back, "Rain and snow are Acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them!"

Ahahahahahahaha... I love it. Silly creations of mine. Well, gotta run. Bob Marley keeps trying to plant marijuana in my clouds!

God

Friday, November 05, 2004

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 06:25:25 GMT

Yawn... its been a long day. John Kerry tried selling his soul to Big L for another shot to be the President... but Big L didnt want him in Hell, so I dont know what we're going to do with him. Poor guy, kinda feel sorry for him....... wait..... NO I DON'T!!! Haha, I'm sooo God. Jojo was trying to tell people today that he died three days ago and arose today, which can't be true because he was over at Fiona's house for over a week... alive as can be. Fornication is not good.... dang, forgot the rest of the song. Jimi Hendrix is teaching me guitar starting tomorrow, which shouldn't take too long... after all, I kinda created the guitar. So yeah, there is God's News... straight from Heaven! I gotta scold Jesus, he was out after curfew last night... silly guy.

I brought you into this world... and I can trick someone into thinking your the anti-christ so someone will take you out,

God

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 06:53:41 GMT

Ahh... good morning my children. Yes, I do wake up this early... wait... I actually dont sleep at all...because I'm God and I can do that. So I noticed someone asked me a question about one of my creations... well Im here to answer that. Jonathan Robles (Jojo) was actually one of my earlier angels. He helped lead choir with Lucifer when he was still on my good side. So when Big L was casted out of my domain, Jojo went too... but did not go to Hell. He just wanders the Earth. He doesnt really cause too much harm so I let him get away with it. One of these days I will drop a box of lightning bolts on him, just for fun. So there you go, young Vinny. You are one of my favorite creations... and Im not saying that just because you have Mafia connections. Frank Sinatra says hi. Alright, well I gotta fly.... Moses toilet papered my mansion again and Ive got 3,000,000,000 rolls of tp with his name on it.

Sometimes wonders why your still alive,

God

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 05:20:40 GMT

God here. I just saw John Kerry slip off the toilet due to someone placing baby oil on the seat, now I wonder who that could have been. Muahaha, Im silly. I had a very busy day today. First off, I taught my son (Jesus) how to ride a bike today. He got the hang of it after he ran over Moses twice. Then I was building a mansion for Johnny Cash, but had to stop because I had to break up a fight between him and Elvis. Those two never stop putting wrinkles on my forehead! They were fighting over building blocks again. I also went to the "Lightning Metal" band practice today, they were learning "Whole Lotta Love" and I could hear it throughout Heaven. Jerry Garcia decided to join the band today, which I am very pleased with. Well I better be off on my chariot of fire... I am thinking about putting hamsters in John Kerry's bed sheets... we'll see how that turns out.

I won't make you twice,

God

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 14:57:23 GMT

Sorry about the thunderstorm last night, guys. I had a really really bad headahe last night.....

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 04:24:56 GMT

Hello... I am God and this is His Xanga. Ive thought about starting a Xanga ever since I created the world... just have never gotten around to it. My son has one around here somewhere, but he won't tell me what the name is. Teenagers sheesh! So how are my children doing? Hopefully not going to vote for Kerry, because I have many plagues I haven't used yet... try me! Me and Michael the Archangel have a bet that John Kerry is the Anti-christ. I think he is and Mike thinks his wife is. Well, Ive got to be floating.... so behave and stop making me kill kittens! I'm not a fan of that!

I could kill you,

God